Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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