So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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