Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is classic penis vs brain.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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