Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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