Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
