Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
