im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
40s are totally the cure
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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