I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
