I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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