I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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