please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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