How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
