sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
