I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
