two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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