Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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