Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
