i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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