Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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