DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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