I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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