Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
