Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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