..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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