Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
