How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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