Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
