I'm really into asian looking animals
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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