I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
