you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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