He asked to "fluff my boner.."
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
