i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
