I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
