it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's the barista slut.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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