Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
