Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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