he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
