he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
