dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
