I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
