He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
