So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
sex in a hospital.. check
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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