did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So vagazzling was a success
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
