I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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