Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
