I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
