last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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