i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
