The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
