Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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