Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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